There’s still a holy grail that scientists are searching for
科学家们仍在追寻科学界的圣杯
and it’s called a theory of everything.
万有理论
What is a theory of everything? Well…
万有理论是什么呢?
This is General Relativity and Quantum Field Theory.
它指的是广义相对论和量子场论
Both are good descriptions of the universe
两者都能够很好地描述宇宙
but they don’t match up,
但它们却互不兼容
which is weird because they both describe the same universe.
这很奇怪 因为它们描述的是同一个宇宙
Or if you put them together,
如果将两者放在一起
you get a message from the universe to physicists trying to understand it:
你将看到宇宙给努力探索的物理学家们传达的信息
”God Recommends You Quit Fucking Trying”
“老天劝你放弃”
General Relativity is the brainchild of Einstein,
广义相对论是物理学泰斗
the king of science himself,
爱因斯坦的心血
and more or less says that gravity is a geometric property of space and time,
内容差不多为:引力是时间空间的几何性质
meaning space and time can also be distorted.
这意味着时间空间也可以扭曲
For more information see black holes, high speeds
详见黑洞 高速运动
and pot brownies
和含大麻的布朗尼蛋糕
Quantum Field Theory on the other hand,
另一方面 量子场论
describes the very little world of the subatomic
描述了微小的亚原子世界
and says that particles are what you get when you excite fields
并且说明粒子产生于激发场
Humans like describing complex phenomena with models
人类喜欢用模型去解释复杂的现象
We did it with economics and computer science
例如经济学 计算机科学
and the British political system
和英国的政治系统
The Dream is to finally do it in physics
这个梦想最终是在物理学中去建立模型
with relativity and quantum mechanics
以解释相对论和量子力学
and get them to take their clothes off together and get their freak on.
让它们脱掉衣服 彼此结合在一起
This would revolutionize science
科学界将迎来彻底变革
However there are some serious compatibility issues
然而它们有着严重的兼容性问题
and lots of the problems come from the Standard Model.
其中许多问题都源自标准模型
Last week we touched on the Standard Model
上周我们提到过标准模型
which is a pretty nifty description of how matter works.
这一模型是对物质运作方式的绝妙描述
But there is still some outstanding homework to be done by humanity
但仍有一些重点工作尚待人们完善
Firstly Symmetry.
首先是对称性
Normally nature is a pretty classy girl
通常来说 大自然是个优雅标致的女孩
but in this case she’s gone all loosey-goosey.
但在标准模型下 她却变得慵懒随意
Almost everything in nature is symmetrical
深入地观察“她”
when we look deeply enough into her
或者该说“它” 我们会发现
or ”it”, rather.
对称性几乎无处不在
This can be seen from honeycombs, to galaxies
从蜂巢到星系
to the first very good seasons of Dexter to the other ones
再到《嗜血法医》精彩的第一季和其他季 都能体现
However physics is currently not very symmetrical and we don’t know why.
但不知为何 当前的物理学却并非如此对称
Problem ”deux” Dark matter.
问题二 暗物质
The universe is behaving a bit oddly at the moment
现在的宇宙看起来有些奇怪
and while it seems overweight when it gets on the scales,
因为它的实际质量似乎超出了预期
we can’t seem to find all that extra mass anywhere.
但超出的质量却找不到来源
This is where dark matter comes in
暗物质这一概念由此诞生
which is an invisible mystery ingredient, that the Standard Model currently can’t explain
这种神秘无形的物质 标准模型还无法解释
Thirdly: Gravity – we all know it exists
第三:引力 对此我们都有所了解
Especially my ex-girlfriend
我前女友对它的了解尤为深入
[HORROR SCREAM]
[惊恐的尖叫]
[crash]
[撞击声]
But the Standard Model currently takes the approach of
但是标准模型目前采取的方法是
”Lalalalalala gravitons maybe
”啦啦啦引力子也许是……
edon’t want to talk about it. Oh look. A kestrel”
我不想说这个了 看!有鸟!”
[BIRD SQUAWKS]
[鸟鸣]
What we need, is a theory of everything
我们需要的万有理论
that explains gravity and dark matter
要能够解释引力与暗物质
and reunites relativity with quantum mechanics
还能将相对论与量子力学结合起来
and does a little backflip for a cheeky encore.
然后再做些高难度表演来博人眼球
Here are some delicious theory of everything recipes that scientists have tried so far
以下是迄今为止科学家们尝试过的美味的万有理论食谱
Recipe one: String theory cake.
食谱一:弦理论蛋糕
To bake a string theory cake you will need
烘焙弦理论蛋糕需要:
Several kilograms of scientific optimism,
乐观的科学精神数千克
a jar of hidden spatial dimensions and a sprinkle of super symmetry
隐藏空间维度一罐和超对称性少许
The basic idea is this
大致内容如下:
Just like the strings of a violin can play lots of different notes
正如小提琴弦能够奏出大量不同的音符
particles may be made of common objects, called ”strings”
各种粒子也可能出自共通的物体 即所谓“弦”
If they vibrate at different frequencies they create different particles
如果以不同的频率振动 弦就会产生不同粒子
粲夸克
电子
胶子
微中子
One of them may even be a graviton,
产生的粒子中甚至会有引力子
finally explaining what gravity actually is
最终这向大家解释了何为引力
引力子
However, string theory wasn’t happy with the usual missionary position
然而 弦理论并不满足于惯常的传统体位
of three dimensions of space and one dimension of time that we’re used to
也就是我们常说的三维空间和时间一维性
No – In some versions
不 在一些理论分支中
she needs 26 dimensions to make the maths work
她足足需要26个维度 才能正常运算
Anything else we can get for you String Theory
请问弦理论小姐 还有什么能为您效劳的吗?
cup of tea, massage, fucking private jet, you insufferable diva?
喝杯茶 按个摩 再来架私人飞机 您烦不烦人啊?
Recipe number two: Loop quantum gravity cake.
食谱二 :圈量子引力论蛋糕
Combine a little self raising flour with the tears of Michio Kaku and voilá
在少许自发酵面粉中加入加来道雄的热泪就完成了
Loop quantum gravity is string theory slightly more awkward
圈量子引力论比弦理论更别扭一点
but still very clever, main competitor
但依旧是个聪明的主要竞争选手
If gravity really is a property of space-time,
如果引力真的属于时空中的一种特性
like some scientists believe it is
正如某些科学家相信的那样
[ahem-hem]
[咳咳]
Instead space might be made of loops
那么与之相对 空间可能由“圈”构成
forming something called a ”spin foam”
圈形成于一种叫“自旋泡沫”的东西
And even though it doesn’t explain everything yet
虽然它尚未能够解释一切
it does kind of explain gravity.
但也在某种程度上解释了引力
So. You know.
所以 你懂的
That’s all right, isn’t it?
还不错 对吧?
Recipe three: Miscellaneous
食谱三:什锦拼盘
There are plenty of other theories of everything
在万有理论中还有很多其他的理论
such as Causal Dynamical Triangulation
比如 因果动力三角论
which divides space-time into dinky little triangles
该理论把时空划分成微小的三角形
and solves a number of problems that way
由此解决了很多问题
Or modified Newtonian Dynamics, which tries to explain dark matter away
还有修正牛顿动力学 该理论旨在描述暗物质
by sitting Isaac Newton down and giving him a stern talking-to
具体做法是把艾萨克·牛顿按在椅子上修理一顿
Or the E8 Model,
还有E8模型
which is very pretty geometric explanation for how all particles interact with each other
它对粒子相互作用方式给予了精妙的几何解释
And finally, Recipe number four: Shut up, no cake for you
最后的食谱四:闭嘴吧 没蛋糕给你
Also known as Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem
这也称为哥德尔不完备定理
Mathematician Kurt Gódel decided to give everyone the finger in 1931
1931年 数学家库尔特·哥德尔决定向所有人竖中指
by pointing out that no system of mathematics is self contained.
他指出没有任何数学体系能够做到自包含
Or, to put it another way
或者 换个说法
if you have any arithmetic in a system
在任何一个体系中只要存在运算
there’ll be things you can never ever prove for certain
就有你永远无法确切证明的东西
That might mean, according to Gódel
据哥德尔分析 这意味着
we can never have a true theory of everything.
我们可能永远无法得到真正的万有理论
So, thanks for that.
那还真是谢谢了
Dick.
去你的
Anyway, these are all fun ideas
总之 这些都是有趣的想法
But maybe none of them are correct
但也许它们没有一个是正确的
and the real answer will turn up unexpectedly one day with very little warning
而正确答案将会挑个极不合适的时机
at a totally inappropriate moment without our permission
不声不响地浮出水面 打所有人一个猝不及防
Much like a certain Windows update,
就像某Windows系统更新
Microsoft,
微软
you bunch of total cunt-
你们这些讨厌鬼-

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